stuck in a time loop

[absimilliard's adventures part one]

i have embarked on an incredible adventure to search for answers to be rid of this mystifying fog of confusion enveloping all thoughts and ideas. namely, the mask of eternity.

i know for a fact, that I, in my mortal state, will never be able to educe all the answers necessary to end this search.

alas, i am not god. i will never be, omniscient. pointless this journey may seem, nevertheless, i find myself exploring the deep recesses of my faculty.

i stumbled upon a thought. an hour later, my mind went apocalyptic on me. my thoughts had regrettably damaged my calm.

let me share to you my dilemma.

i'm sure we all know about the concept of time-travel.

i've come up with a rather disturbing imagery of what could happen should we discover the ability to travel through time.

what if, due to the magnificent efforts of our unrelenting scientists, we finally managed to unlock the secrets of time travel?

so here i am, dying to test this spankin' new time-space jumpin' beast i have recently obtained.

i travel to the future. "wow, the future kicks!".
and then i travel further into the future. only to find out that the future only holds death and destruction for us homo sapiens.

"hmm. the future is unstable. let me try to delve into that some other time. but first, i have to take a look into the past. because the future, is the outcropping of the past. fairly simple, really."

i performed an experiment, which, eventually, led to the mental and spiritual mayhem i am in now.

the idea was, for me to travel back in time to convince my former self that i should not travel through time.

it seemed simple at first.

knowing that venturing to the past could result in a timeless crease if not analyzed properly, i sat down and attempted to scrutinize the situation. i tried to create a picture of me and of what could possibly happen.

okay, i travel back in time to meet my former self, a year before now.
i managed to convince myself not to embark on this "would-be" idiotic adventure called "time travel". i agree that it is dangerous, and that should i reach a certain point in time wherein i would encounter the time machine, i should actively avoid it.

now comes the conflict, which completely nullifies the idea of even going backwards through time to change things.

so, if i go back in time to convince myself not to go back in time, then i will not be able to go back in time to convince myself not to go back in time because how can i go back in time if i was already convinced by my future counterpart not to go back in time?

hmm..

disturbed, i create a chronological list.

1. i went back in time.
2. i convinced myself not to go back in time.
3. i was convinced not to go back in time.
4. convinced, i will never go back in time.
5. rippled, i never went back in time.
6. conflicting, nobody convinced me not to go back in time.
7. uninformed, i still plan to go back in time.
8. result, i go back in time to convince myself not to go back in time.
9. i went back in time.

.....it's a damn loop!

i'm stuck! the journey's just started and i'm already at an impasse!

maybe i should skip that idea altogether. or maybe i should try it some other time, when i manage to formulate a more stable hypothesis.