absimilliard's fables : the bird and the ant

once upon a time there was an ant who loved the land like a frenzied rallyist for insect rights movement. he was trying to cross the river on accounta he was blown far away from his anthill to the other side of the river by a monsoon.

he climbed a fallen twig thinkin it would get carried by the water onto the next side. it didn't, because the twig was not exactly a twig but a papier mache crumpled like a twig and it slowly began ta absorb water an sink.

a bird saw the little ant in trouble and said, "little ant, little ant, do you need help?"

the ant said.. "whatsit look like, as*wipe?! toss me a damn leaf!"

so the bird dropped him a leaf an the ant was able ta cross the river safely. "thanks for nothin'."

being a kind hearted little critter, the little bird let the attitude pass.

the next day, the ant decided to cross the river again on accounta he left his antler an carapace scrub from yesterday. he got into trouble again because he climbed a papier mache that looks like a fruit.

the bird saw him an said, "little ant, little ant, do you need help?"

the ant said.. "what the hell do you think?! do somethin', birdboy!"

the bird dropped a leaf and the ant crawled on to it.

but the leaf slowly sank to the bottom and dragged the ant along with it cause it was only a papier mache made to look like a leaf.

the bird, seeing his mistake, decided that the ant was prejudiced against birds an that the ant deserved his fate.

a week later, as the bird was perched on a tree looking for ants in desperate need of help, a bird hunter snuck up on him an had im in his sights. "die, dumb duck!"

a group of ants saw the situation and crawled quickly on to the hunter and bit his leg as hard as they could thinkin they could help the bird react an escape in time.

the hunter blasted the bird away along with the branch with his double barrel shotgun with twelve gauge pellets. turns out, the hunter had a fake leg made out of toughened papier mache on accounta he lost his leg during world war 2 in cambodia where he stepped on a t9 anti-personnel mine.

the ants then got poisoned and died when the hunter went and pissed on their anthill cause he's been coked up on pcp. the hunter was arrested a week later on a complaint filed by the wildlife preservation party for hunting on tourist grounds and using illegal hunting weapons.

moral of the story - papier mache is dangerous.