fifty nifty somethings part two

51. i skipped workout just to do this stupid list.

52. the movie "gods and generals" is too damn long.

53. those blasted equations are keeping me up all night, only to discover the answer is just x.

54. this was supposed to be one long list, but i opted for something smaller to increase my blogging stats.

55. one of these days, my readers will find out i'm not so smart after all, and that i have to use more quasi-intellectual terms just to keep them interested. quasi huh.

56. i keep wondering why, even for a first meet, women think i'm relentless.

57. i really am not.

58. i have several retainers. they're dropping like flies.

59. i'm a sucker for happy endings.

60. i've been listening to so much nana moskouri.

61. i've heard too much pavarotti.

62. i need to figure out how to convert, organize, sort, and label eight gigabytes worth of mp3's i just copied from my sister's laptop.

63. i just had another bad breakup.

64. i've considered jumping from the twenty third floor balcony at least thirty six times.

65. when i get back home i'll bring that number up to sixty.

66. most of the articles in my blog are dedicated to people i know.

67. my secretary can tie cherry knots with her mouth at a rate of five per minute.

68. i found out women don't exactly consider it as a difficult feat.

69. took me fifteen minutes to realize it's just something i can't do.

70. yes, absimilliard is a poor kiss. he can't kiss worth crap.

71. why does coca cola advertise that coke zero tastes the same as the original, only with no sugar, when it really tastes like palmsweet? (it's an artificial sweetener, much like equal).

72. endurance tablets don't really do squat. when you can, you will. it's your heart.

73. my friend's ex-husband did five times a day, every day, for eight years. she said they never missed a day. superman in the flesh!

74. same girl said i was a weakling. go figure. talk about a sucker punch to the gonads!

75. my neighbor thinks i'm hot. unfortunately, she doesn't speak my language, or at least, any language i know of.

76. fact. on a good day, absimilliard can empty a whole bottle of fundador by himself. plus four beers to finish him off.

77. absimilliard's son's mother is the most beautiful girl he's ever known.

78. took him four years and shi*loads of alcohol to get over her.

79. i got whacked by eating too much bone marrow. i feel dizzy. i can't move my neck.

80. people don't know what "fnord" means. someone asks you a question you can't answer, just say "fnord". why? fnord.

81. new year's resolutions have a shelf life of two months, tops. things go back to normal afterwards and people make the same resolutions as they had last year.

82. my son plays battlegrounds better than i can.

83. the monolith is dead! long live the monolith!

84. you wonder why companies claim their products have aesthetic effects when they really don't. i don't even know what aesthetic means.

85. life is a joke. and humanity is the punchline.

86. they say when you have so many women in your life, you'll eventually lose all of them and end up single.

87. i should watch alfie again. the jude law remake.

88. women say the same things to you when they're in love. you wonder why you even bother looking all over the place just so you can hear it again and again. i should've recorded it the first time i heard it so i can play it back every time i need to hear it.

89. i keep arguing with myself whether or not i really am malcontent.

90. i wonder how i will be able to listen to all 3,317
music mp3's i have gathered so far.

91. you go to bed with wonder woman and in the morning you wake up with diana.

92. i've considered putting together something like a director's commentary for all the articles i've ever written.

93. i gave up realizing i'd end up writing a book five times lengthier than the blog itself.

94. nine out of ten people do not know what the "tilde" key is. well.. it's the "~".

95. you're welcome.

96. seventy eight percent of the people who create lists are suffering from boredom.

97. i am a stat monkey.

98. individuals who claim they are either atheist or agnostic believe in god. they're bitter. they think the world has done them a lot of hurt.

99. personally, i blame mtv, for making it difficult for aspiring artists to be somebody. it has set steep standards that every other wannabe is a clone of a celebrity.

100. i'm running out of ideas real fast.