a child's guide to monsters

ran into this article in the internet. it's kinda like a child's guide to under the bed and in the closet monsters. stuff like that.

it's all poetic and shit. it's for kids, fer chrissakes.

A Child's ABC Guide to Under-the-bed and Closet Monsters

Beware, beware the Allignight, Its teeth are sharp. Its eyes are bright.
If you don't want to end up dead, Be sure to check beneath your bed.

And if at night you hear a howl, The Banda's come to disembowel.
The empty little kids can't shout, When their insides have been torn out.

And screeching means a Calder's come. It does no good at all to run.
For it will drag you to its den And slowly tear off all your skin.

And if a Drylak comes don't cry, If it gets in, you will not die.
It has a huge and dripping nose, And hides its boogers in your clothes.

And if an Eerling's in the dark, Beneath the bed you'll hear it bark.
Then you will soon be filled with dread, When it crawls out to eat your head.

And if a Fazz shrieks in the night, It won't do any good to fight.
For they have long and wicked knives, And they take little children's lives.

And Gorlumphs crawl upon the floor, And slither underneath your door.
They'll try to creep beneath your sheet, Where they can dine upon your feet.

A Hargie is a bad surprise, With all its red and glowing eyes.
For it has tentacles and it, Does not like children, not one bit.

And if an Irlid's in your room, Or in your closet in the gloom,
Then you will likely scream and cry, For it will sting until you die.

One time I had a Jaganet. It made a really awful pet
For feeding it was quite a trick. The blood it drank would make you sick

A Korbel is a nasty beast. On children's brains it likes to feast.
Not only that, but when it's done, It nibbles out their eyes for fun.

A Lidag's really very small. Looks like it couldn't hurt at all.
But when you're sleeping it will start, To eat its way into your heart.

A Magan causes shrieks and wails, And rips off children's fingernails.
And when you think it's finally through, Then it rips off your toenails too.

Nurlugs are very awful things, With dirty fur and nasty wings.
They all wear really filthy clothes, And bite off fingers, ears and toes.

An Orlock's lurking in the blackness, 'Neath your bed. They carry axes!
Try not to snore; it gives them fits. They'll hack you into little bits.

And if a Purlit you should see, Then you're as doomed as doomed can be.
They cut out bones and take a few, And boil the things to make a stew.

And Quibbets like to howl and roar, And hide behind your closet door.
If it should open just a crack, They'll leap out and they'll claw your back.

And Raggatits are very sly. They like to steal and always lie.
They lurk in shadows on the floor, Their victims die of boils and sores.

One monster's called, I think, a Slike, But I don't know what it looks like.
The ones who've seen one can not say, For they all died long before day.

A Trollert has a thousand feet, And feasts on rotten stinking meat.
And if you ever smell its breath, Then you will gag and choke to death.

An Urvine has a pointed beak, And preys upon the young and weak.
It pecks a hole into their legs, Where it lays several thousand eggs.

A Vagun's long and poisoned spike, Is something you're sure not to like.
It runs the thing, with lots of pain, Up through your nose, into your brain.

A Wimbat's really mean and eats, Parts of the children that it meets.
It really likes to hear, you see, Its victims scream in agony.

And if you see a Xantha, run! For if you don't your life is done.
With razored claws they like to slay, Their cringing, screaming wailing prey.

A Yugurn's like a giant rat, But also it's part snake and cat.
If you're awake it breaks your bones, And listens to your screams and moans.

A Zitheril is big and black, With eighty spines upon its back
Those spines are poisoned, by the way, And it does things too bad to say.

Well, now it's time to go to bed, I hope that you don't end up dead.
Try to ignore the shrieks and screams. Have a good night and pleasant dreams.

movie quotes - part one

i've assembled a collection of quotes from the movies. some sure do have contemplative meanings. the others, well, they're just sub par. i'm sure it could help you out with your one-liner issues. Well, some of them.

"having is not so pleasing a thing as wanting. it is not logical, but is often true."

"what a piece of work is a man. how noble in reason. how infinite in faculties. in form and moving, how express and admirable. in action, how like an angel."
"Well if he's an angel alright then, he damn well must be a killer angel."

"it weren't a pretty sight. many a good boy lost a young and promising life. some wore blue, some wore gray."

"i'm here to chew bubble gum and kick ass, and i'm all out of bubble gum"

"do you believe in UFO's, astral projection, mental telepathy, ESP, clairvoyance, spirit photography, telekinetic movement, full transmedium, the Loch Ness monster, and the theory of Atlantis?"
"ah, if there is a steady paycheck in it, i'll believe anything you tell me.

"i believe we live two lives, one we learn with and the one that we live with after."

"define irony. a bunch of guys dancing around on a plane to a song made famous by a band that died in a plane crash."
"on any other day, this might seem strange."

"just because you are right doesn't mean you get to win."

"the only time I listened to my father was when he wasn't yelling."

"honor isn't in the weapon, it's in the man."

"all battles are fought by scared men who would have rather have been somewhere else."

"he may be the head of the house, but i'm the neck, and the neck can turn the head any which way it wants."

"i wont be wronged. i won't be insulted, and i won't be laid a hand on. i don't do these things to other people, and I require the same from them."

"all those memories, lost like tears in the rain. time to die."

"there's no honorable way to kill, no gentle way to destroy. there is nothing good in war. except its ending."

"a good conspiracy is unprovable. i mean, if you can prove it, it means they screwed up somewhere along the line."

"you don't have to die alone."
"everyone dies alone."

"be careful when you kill a monster, that you don't become one yourself."

"some doors should never be opened."

"sometimes the things that may or may not be true are the things a man needs to believe in the most. that people are basically good. that honor, courage, and virtue mean everything. that power and money, money and power mean nothing, that good always triumphs over evil. and I want you to remember this, that love, true love, never dies. you remember that, boy. you remember that. doesn't matter if it's true or not. you see, a man should believe in those things, because those are the things worth believing in."

"we have no true friends. only enemies. other countries may grow to respect us, even fear us but, they will never truly love us. for we have too much audacity and can be a little blind and reckless."

"the nights last so long in this place."

a prayer on forgiveness

"Merciful Father, I have squandered my days with plans of many things. This was not among them. But at this moment I beg only to live the next few minutes well. For all we ought to have thought, but have not thought. All we ought to have said, but have not said. All we ought to have done but have not done. I pray thee, God, for forgiveness."

this was Ahmed's prayer on the movie titled "Thirteenth Warrior".
whenever i think about it, it gives me the creeps.

it says everything.

it's like, the mother of all prayers on forgiveness.
he was right. it's a prayer appropriate for all sinner genres.
For the light sinners and heavy sinners, if there ever was one.

i ain't religious, y'know. i don't even have a religion. but i sure as hell think it's a damn good prayer.

one day, when i make my peace with God, i will, say that prayer.

lesser evil

was asked by my brother once..if i were to choose between two evil solutions, assuming that there is not a single reputable one, to an extremely pressing situation, what would i choose..would it be the lesser evil, or the greater evil?

both are evil, for sure. but then, they have radically different results.

the greater evil reaps the most rewards. it does everything right. except that, it does have an amazing amount of guilt attached to it. well, for some, that is.

the lesser evil still does the job, though it does not do necessarily complete everything, but it'll do. less evil, less guilt, less stress.

some say they'd rather choose to follow the system, or the greater evil. because, it's what works. sometimes i think that's a good idea, because, in this world, everything is up for grabs. it's the rule of the jungle, eat or be eaten. it has its benefits, though. it's like..everybody's doin' it, so why can't we..right?

but for those who are not guiltless, or those who seem to care about morality, they'd choose the lesser evil. for them, the lesser evil is much more forgivable, and easier to overlook. but no. that's a goddamn lie. there is no hierarchy for evil deeds or sin. there is no mortal sin or condonable sin. a sin is a sin.

so i answered my brother.
then he gave me that evil grin.

yeah, well, the place is falling apart anyway. there's no other cure.
fighting fire with fire.