waters of truth

my friend asked me once. why?, mars.

why what? what the fu** bro?

why're you so fu**ed up all the time?

because.. bro.

he never asked me again.

absimilliard is an alcoholic, yes. that much is true. and yes, my name is mars.

the person who asked me that question, is the one i trust with my life.

he told my friend who, in turn, told me.. "that guy.. is always drunk. but he always makes sense.."

it's uplifting to know some people speak good things about you.

i've always found truth in drinking. because i'm a lonely person, i dowse my anguish with alcohol. and because i have long term lethe and some ecmnesia, i try to remember as much as i can by drinking my wits away. because i find indescribable peace when i'm intoxicated.

and when i am, my mind enters a different kind of focus, which i use to ingeniate significant ideas and of course, to recall essential events in my life.

of course, i am aware of the fact that abuse is never any good.

and so, in defense to what some have to say about my unorthodox habits, i have found a quote to prove my point. my friend gave it to me, actually.

"always listen to what a drunk person has to say. because drunken words.. are spoken by sober hearts."

"in vino nobis veritas." - in wine there is truth.

few years back..

scratch what i said about being happy and content.

i wrote this letter to my ex fiancee. we had it goin' pretty well until she broke up with me. i thought it could win her back.

here goes..

i remember when we first met. we tried hard not to look at each other all night. but we knew we kept glancing at each other every chance we got. it was fun, and it was nice, because after that, we slept beside each other. and then i kissed you that morning. that was your first kiss. i knew it was something special.

i remember mount claire. every weekend i waited for you to arrive. i wrote you that big welcome note saying "i love you mommy! thanks for coming..". you'd help me with my take home work and every night we'd go out and decide what meal to cook and what ingredients to buy. and then we'd drink. i'd write most of the time while drinking, and you'd just sleep. i'd then lie beside you when i'm either drunk or tired.

not long after that, you helped me apply in a call center. we'd go out every payday just to be together because we still didn't have a place back then. we'd meet during lunch, or after shift, and smoke together or just talk.

i remember pembo. we moved together to that small place. our schedules didn't match and we had to sleep by ourselves. you wrapped the pillow with my shirt and shorts so you can hug it like you would hug me if i was there. we moved to the top room months afterwards and it was alright.

things got a little better, we thought. and our schedules matched, too. we'd go out to the office every night together and go home together. it was sweet.

i remember parañaque. we were happy. because we could sleep together peacefully without the noise. and our house was so nice. it wasn't always spic and span, but we managed somehow. we stayed there for as long as we could. it was good, because you would cook for me and have dinner / breakfast waiting for me when i get home.

and then you got promoted. we were happy for a time. because we were able to step up in our payments. our schedules were mismatched but we did our best to keep up with each other.

i left the call center industry in hopes of making it big in the business world. it was alright in the beginning but we didn't make it big because of financial difficulties with the investors. i tried to do my best. when i came back to town, things have changed. you were too caught up in your work and we began to see less of each other. i guess that's the time you got used to being alone.

things went from bad to worse after that. we tried making it work, i know i did. and because i had more free time, i had to cook food for both of us and sometimes do our laundry. i was home most of the time so i put your shirt and shorts on the pillow and hug it tight.

everything was still fine, but then i felt that i was losing you. circumstances happened after one another and we became totally aloof. there was this unnameable cold. this gloom, surrounding our relationship.

you left me there because you decided couldn't live with me anymore because you need to be home for your family. and then you broke up with me weeks after that. how i regret that day i let you move out. i blame myself for not being strong enough. not being expressive enough of my love. i could've done a lot of things. if i knew things were gonna end this way, i would've done a lot of things differently.

misery and sadness gripped me and then i started committing one stupid mistake after another. i felt hopeless over a lot of things and my self-esteem dropped lower and lower. the only person i looked up for comfort was the one person i can't have.

i ask myself everyday, what.. happened.

i love you ma. nothing can change that. i know you don't want me back. but i want you to know that one day you'll realize how much we are losing by living separate lives. i want my wife back.

you know i was never a big fan of change. but you're so different now. stronger. and that's good. i'm happy for you.

you said you wanted to pursue your career for the both of us. and so you did. congratulations. you made it big, but it put the relationship in jeopardy. seems you can't have everything.

i hope in your dream, i was there with you at the top. i can never say enough sorries to convince you to come back. and i understand, when you said that you want to remain single, and that you want to find someone else. but please, think about it. we only live once, and i don't want to waste the years we've spent together on a careless whim.

you don't have to be too strong, to enjoy life. and a person can never be any stronger than necessary. i still love the new you. but the new you does not love me.

please come back. this is my last attempt at winning you back. please come back. we can make this work. i'm begging you. if not for me, do it for my son. he loves you so much and he keeps asking me when he's gonna see you again.

please. i'm still hanging on to that dream of ours. your promise, that you will never leave me. i hold you to that promise.

please come back. i'll do anything. please.

even then, these words couldn't sway her. so much hate. so little me.

in here.. i am king!

in a world where super heroes are mere figments of imagination, and powers cannot be recognized unless they are levels beyond, i regret to say that comic book heroes are nigh improbable and that, comic books, have failed to do their purpose.

nevertheless, in lieu of the commonplace sobriquet of character slash individual definitions, i have come to realize a great deal of importance accompanying the common man. some of them do have powers. though most of them would generally be considered inessential as they are ridiculous,

they are unique, nonetheless.

in view thereof, i have decided to disclose to my audience, the dark secrets absimilliard has been amassing all these years. yes, absimilliard, lowlife he may be, DOES have powers. hidden behind a guise of average-jerk-no-ambition-hiding-behind-his-laptop-dork persona, i am, newtons beyond normal. and that does not even include his godlike sex appeal and smooth talk.

i know, right? (cheese and rice, where'd you get this guy?)

hooookay.. kidding aside.. here's a list of my powers and frailties. alright. wait. here's a list of what i can.. and cannot do. how's that?

yep. my merits and flaws.

i can hear specific high frequencies including ultrasonic. i can hear a neighboring tv frequency, and i know when a neighbor's tv is on, even while i'm locked up in a room.

i can detect perceptive glare. i can sense when somebody is staring at me, and i always know where someone is looking at. wanderlust included.

i can see minutes into the future. strangely enough, i can't seem to change it.

i have superhuman convincing powers. i can convince anybody they have an itch on their back. stop scratching your back. it's not real. see what i mean?


i have significant control over my nervous system. i can pass the polygraph test. and no. it doesn't mean anyting. it's not like i'm a compulsive liar.

i can smell and predict weather. my nose knows, you know? believe me when i say it's gonna rain tomorrow. bring your coat.

i have bionic resistance to kinetic impact. yes, i'm resilient to blunt force and no, bullets don't bounce off me, so don't ask. but that's gotta count, right?

i have 13% chance of mind control, whereas the normal person has 3.4%, and i have yet to develop it.

due to my heroic brain activity, my alcohol tolerance is 3 times greater than the average, fatigue or lack of sleep considered.

i have the gift of tongues, i can adapt any language. and yes, the rumours are true, absimilliard speaks five languages.

i have the uncanny ability to learn and acquire skills at 300% the normal rate.

my internal organs are more than intact, they're the next step of evolution for mankind. i can only be killed by aggravated damage. i'm immortal.


i can metabolize twice as fast. that means i heal twice as fast, and i have zero chance of acquiring an obesity condition.

i have the heart of an ox. i can run through a wall.

i see auras and facades. nothing escapes me.

my fighting ability or brawl skill is that of captain america. blackbelt is peanuts to me.

my perception is all encompassing. i can see a fly in a crowded room. i have eyes on the back of my

head. i see everything. i see dumb people. myself included.

my skin cells are very sensitive. my sense of touch is uncontrollably acute. anything that touches me or part of my outfit, i can feel.

my sense of taste is extraordinary. i can sniff out the italian seasoning in an italian food with italian flavoring or italian dressing.

my mind can handle multiple objectives at any given time. i can talk on the phone, hum a tune, create an equation, document an interaction, cook spicy food, and blog, all at the same time.

i understand the physics of racing games better than the hardcore racing fanatics. i am unbeatable with racing games. still, it is limited to keyboard control. i have twiddle fingers, not twiddle thumbs.

sadly, i am not without fault. powerful absimilliard may be, he has numerous flaws as well.

no matter how much or how hard i try to learn, my memory discards every so often, considerably decreasing the amount of knowledge i can absorb or keep during long periods of time. so i gotta keep learning. i'd forget it anyway.

because i have preternatural resistance to the intoxicating effects of alcohol, i have become abusive to the point of subconsciously forcing my mind and body to rely on alcohol to operate.

my ingenuity is too great, thereby causing me to skip the simple aspects of a given situation. now i've become dumb as soup.

my heart beats irregularly, i can only experience simulated human emotions and not really feel it.

my lungs have grown too powerful, and that i had to pump it full of carcinogens in order to keep it at bay level, now my lungs rely on nicotine to survive.

my conscience has dissipated, i am nearing the edge of my sanity and my humanity hangs by a thread.

my cognoscenti hardly needs any sleep to induce oxygen levels on the latter part of my meninges, so now i avoid suspending my consciousness as much as i can, thereby causing extensive stress that grips my entire being. and that i need to retire.

most of my demerits are derivatives of abuse. seems i haven't been putting my heaven-sent talents to good use. hmm, that superhero flick was right. with great power comes great responsibility.

my goodness. responsibility my butt. i just need a drink.